I've been very blessed to be able to stay home with Micah for the past 20 months since I had him. I'm thankful that I will get to continue to stay home with him and with Baby Boy #2 (we haven't decided on a name yet) for as long as God allows it. With staying home, I'm with Micah pretty much every minute of every day. He watches as I fix breakfast, lunch, snack, and dinner. He watches as I wash clothes, clean, and do other things around the house. He watches as Michael and I talk to one another and interact. He watches as I play and laugh and spend time with him. He watches when I read my Bible and do my Bible study. He watches as I read books to him. He watches as I make phone calls. He watches as I handle his crankiness at times, and the fits that he pitches at times too. He watches the way I handle situations that come up unexpectedly. He's always watching. The question is, what is he seeing as he watches? Is he seeing Christ constantly being poured out, or is he seeing me handle things in the flesh, is he being taught as he watches to handle things in a way that would honor the Lord? Sometimes it's easy to think that he's so young that our actions aren't making an impact on him yet, but they are. Everyday. I pray that my actions, reactions, and all that I do, will help point him to Christ. I know I'm not the perfect mother, wife, friend, volunteer, daughter, and more. But I don't want that to be a reason I don't strive to be the godly example to my son, who's always watching, and to others I come in contact with.
There's a story behind what got me really thinking about this in the first place, and boy was it a proud Mom moment, but convicting at the same time.
Last week, while on the way to the Christmas Communion service at church, I was jamming out to some worship music in the car. It was just Micah and I in the car, as Michael was already at the church. Micah was in his car seat playing with a toy train. I was singing my heart out. The kind of worship in the car that if passersby saw me, they would think I was crazy. Not only was I singing my heart out, it was the kind of moment that you just had to lift your hand in praise (don't worry, one hand at least was on the wheel). So I did. I heard Micah making noise in the back so I turned to see what he was doing. That sweet little boy was "singing" and had his hand raised too. He was doing exactly what he saw me doing. My actions and the things I do, DO make an impression on him NOW. He's not too young to pick up on the things he sees and hears. So, of course, my pregnant hormonal self starts crying because of the scene I'm witnessing from my 20 month old. But that's what gets me thinking about what else he sees. What else will he start to mimic that he sees of me, Michael, and even others that have an influence on him?
I had to stop and pray right then, praying that what Micah sees from me is constantly pointing him to Christ. I wish I could have gotten a picture of my sweet boy with his hand raised and "singing", but I was driving. Thankful to have had that moment on the way to church though, and thankful that God keeps laying it on my heart to examine my actions and what Micah, and others, see from me daily.
