We've all had days like this I'm sure. The ones where your toddler has thrown 10 tantrums before you have had your morning coffee. Or you forgot to move the clothes out of the washing machine and into the dryer, and they have been there for a little longer than they should have been. Or your oldest child wakes up your youngest from his nap, after it took you forever to get them to nap in the first place. Or your newborn spits up all over you, and of course you had just put on nice clothes. Or right when it's time to get ready to go out the door, one child has a blow out while the other child has a meltdown because you told them that they couldn't bring their 6 dinosaurs to the store with them. Or dinner doesn't turn out the way you expected so you have to run out to the closest fast food restaurant to feed your family dinner. Or insert any other unexpected circumstance that you have ever had to deal with.
Yes, I'm sure we have all had days that are similar.
Days that do not go as we imagined. Days that can be long and frustrating. Days that have been so exhausting that you hand the kids off to your husband as soon as he walks in the door and you don't even greet him with more than a grunt. Days that you are just counting down the hours or minutes until it's bedtime.
Guilty.
Or am I the only one that has experienced days like that?
With two little ones at home, there is never a dull moment. Most days go pretty smoothly, even though there are always minor mishaps and moments that aren't so pleasant. But every once in a while, there is a day that totally throws me off and by the time Michael comes home I'm ready for a break.
But, I'm sure when Michael walks in the door, he's walking in from a long day too and wants to walk in to a peaceful house. A place that he wants to come home to. And it's my job to have that waiting for him.
I'm not saying that my house has to be completely quiet. I'm not saying that my house has to be in complete perfect order and everything in it's place. I'm not saying my boys have to be perfect angels when he comes home. I'm not saying dinner has to be ready and piping hot on the dinner table the minute he walks in the door.
Then what am I saying?
I'm saying that I need to welcome him home and not ignore him. I'm saying that I don't need to hit him with all that's gone wrong during the day, the minute that he gets home. I'm saying that I don't need to take my frustrations out on him. I'm saying that I need to ask how his day was. I'm saying that I need to spend time with him, even when I'm so tired that I just want to crawl in the bed. I'm saying I need to make my husband a priority.
It's easy some days to be so consumed with my boys needs, that I totally don't meet any of my husbands needs. It's easy to keep on my "Mama" hat, when I need to remember that I wore the "Wife" hat first! And yes, it is my job to take care of my boys and meet their needs. But my husband should be a priority too. In fact, he should be a higher priority than my children. And yes, it can be draining to run after the kids all day and care for them, but I know I need to be more aware of my husband and his needs. I want my husband to WANT to come home after work. I want my husband to ENJOY coming home and being with his family after a long day at work, and not to dread coming home. I want my home to be a safe haven for my husband.
And it starts with just being aware. Being aware of my attitude and mind set when he comes home from work. Being aware of his needs. Being aware of ways I can meet them. Whether it's giving him some time to unwind when he gets home before expecting him to hop in and help with things at home, or having dinner ready when I know he has to go back out for a late meeting, or making sure his clothes are clean and put away when they are needed, or making sure I communicate with him and spend time with him. There are so many littles ways to tend to his needs but how often do I let them slide?
Praying I can be the wife Michael needs me to be first and foremost, so that we can model to our boys what a healthy, biblical marriage looks like while meeting our boys needs too! Praying that my boys see me being a loving and respectful wife. And a loving mother as well.
2 comments:
I.love.you.
Good article April. I learned a valuable lesson years ago from one of my customers (when I was a hairdresser). Her husband was a doctor and she had lots of medical problems. She said that some days she would be in bed all day long in pain but when it was time for him to come home she would get up, get a shower, put on make-up and be ready to greet him. She said "He sees sick people all day long and I don't want him to come home and see another sick person." I cannot tell you how many days her comment has come back to remind me to put the days troubles behind me and greet my husband with a smile when he comes home.
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