Trials and Joy

As Christians, we are not exempt from trials and hard times. I have seen my share of them in my 31 years for sure. In the past few years I have lost all my grandparents, I have lost very young cousins (13 years old and 15 years old) to a car accident, a cousin not much older than I am to cancer, an aunt to illness, an uncle to a house fire, and other family members to other illnesses. I know the feeling of praying for years for a child, being over joyed at finding out we were expecting, to finding out weeks later that I lost the child. I know the feeling of year after year continuing to pray for another child and feeling like that prayer is being ignored. I know the struggle of making little money and having a lot of bills. While Michael was in seminary in North Carolina I worked full time and Michael only worked part time so he could go to school full time. We struggled financially to the point that we went a winter without heat because we couldn't afford the gas bill.

I'm not writing this to complain about the different trials and hard times I've been through in the past though. I'm writing this to say that, even through each of those trials and hard times, I can truly say that God was there with me (us) and His presence was certainly felt. Even during the dark days of the miscarriage and all that happened afterwards (Long story short, I had to have a D&C and they did it incorrectly causing me to have another one two weeks after the first one. With all that going on, my immune system seemed to be in shock and I ended up with bronchitis, and upper respiratory infection, and a kidney infection. I ended up missing about two weeks of work because I was on bed rest and one night I ended up in the ER due to inflammation in my chest cavity.), I had true peace that can only come from God. I was truly saddened at the loss of our child, but knew that God was still in control and that if it was His will, there would be children in our future.

During each of these trials and hard times, yes, there were days that I was heartbroken and experienced a time of grieving, which is normal. But, I chose each time to trust God....trust in His Word, trust in His faithfulness, and trust in His promises. I chose to let each situation make me better instead of bitter!

I know there will be more trials and hard times in my future, but I pray that as those times come, I will see each one as a time to strengthen my faith in God and will continue to TRUST Him! Trusting Him can't just come during the good times, we must trust Him through the bad as well.

I can't imagine going through each of these times without the Lord. I'm so very thankful I have a relationship with Him and that He will never leave me! I'm thankful for the peace and comfort He offered through each trial and will continue to offer in those to come! I'm thankful for the true joy that only comes in knowing Him!